Friday 13th...dundunduuun

well, it wasnt like that really XD

i mean alot of things were due....soon.... 
I dunno

but i guess today was a god day, but in my tired state i now have my doubts and worries, but then again i always do that sometime during the day..i blame staying up dang it ;-;
OH OH OH! i got all 10 mangas of Vampire knight now!! i am so happy about it!!



anyway, yea well my WOLF BUDDY stood up for me today and it made me feel all of the specials ^_^ thanks!!!

that really made me happy, he actually did something, instead of doing what people usually do, "yea, um i will message them on fb and tell them to be nice to you", i man not EVERYONE does that, im just saying if someone was to stand up necessarily for me, they might either do that or tell me to ignore it. -.-

but yea, it made em happy!

Also i miss hanging out with JsRambles! and and !!!!

alright, anyway, so yea, i had a fun art class!!
finally finished my picture! a yuki picture!
kittyninja2009.deviantart.com/…

i haven't used a tablet in a while cus i was so upset about stuff and had not much inspiration but i did this and im happy with it ^_^ for one i tried anyway!

then i went to science, and the whole class my teacher played the guitar and sang! it made me happy to hear guitar!!

i love it when someone plays an interment for me, or us!

I am such a...i dunno....i drew a pic for the teacher cus i was so happy he FINALLY brought out his guitar to play for he class!!


yea, then i walked to where my wolf buddy was working! oh gosh i cant say all the fun, and stuff, but i will say some stuff..
Like how i saw this guy, who i believe has a crush on me
dang it why....i does not want dis!

and he had book 3 and 4 of vampire knight which were mine, so i ran after him to see if he was done with them. and also to ask about s.s....

anyway, he was listening to music, composing it as he walked, then ran, then walked again. i was like "what am i doing? chasing after a guy?!?! who i dont even like in such a way?!"

so i stopped running. i called his name. no response. i thought i saw him take his head pones out, so i called out his name again, louder, no dice of course. so i ran across the road, and i was in front of the convenience store where my wolf buddy works, so i stopped. what ever. i was looking forward to hanging with my buddy all day so, why bother chasing more, and when i headed to the door, that is when the guy turned and spotted me.

 i turned my head so the wind blew my hair and pulled my back pack closer and walked up the stairs.

my mind  "yea that's right, i was walking behind you, and you didn't notice, and so....i do what i need to.."
however i probably didn't look so "Awesome" as i imagined it, cus when i came in teh door i was out of breath still from running.
How i thought i looked like : 
how i really loked like: pant pant....i...ran....all the way here!

so yea, hung out with mer buddy!

Oh! there was a car that looked like it was parked in the street, like right there, like for literally 30-35 minutes he or she couldn't decide to turn left, right or go straight. finally it was toed away.

also i was fascinated by a light bulb. it was bright.


and...um i have been so upset and worried....not just about this summer, or exams, but about grade 12, and..well alot, but recently i found myself in a big...well issue in my mind.

grad. Its coming next year....to think in a few months im already in grade 12!!

but...this is what bugged me. Since thou who shall not be named was suppose to be MINE muhhahahah
jk, well he promised to be my grad escort, well he broke all promised he had with me now, and there was alot, i remember  >.> <.<

so yea...i was worried...about that...
cus i wanted to make my family happy or something...to have someone be my escort....

Someone asked me already but i said no...

he was a friend who lives about an hour away, he failed a grade and stuff, but he was in kindergarten with me...
but i didnt want to have him as my escort, no offence to him but it would be awkward,...

i "friend zone" alot... oh well..i don't need a relationship in high school! it only creates drama and stress!!

but i know that guy had a crush on me, and likes me for quite some time, of course i would say no in my nicest way but i hoped he would get the hint that maybe, just maybe, i wont be letting have a chance with me.....
i dont need to date him to know i wont be with him, and i wont date or something with people just for the fun and "trying"...i want to take something like that more seriously, "if you actually want to be with her, then try, and if you can actually be with him, then there ya go" kinda deal.

BUT Anyway, i didn't want him as my escort for some reasons, that's the point, 
but i was asked by someone who i was actually curious to know if there was a possibility, if things fall in the way i believ it will, where i would be alone, then i wondered if there was a chance he...wouldn't be with someone.

he is mer WOLF BUDDY!

yea, i bet if you guys kept up, maybe you would say "i saw it coming" ...i dunno how, but something tells me someone (cough cough my dad XD) would XD

yea we hang out alot! he is one of my best friends, along with i think 2 other people.... who i don't hang out with as often anymore >.> derrrrpp but we wont talk about that side of things...
BUT HEY! the whole escort thing, i didnt see coming, it made em shy and i had to answer by looking away cus i somehow managed to get blushie sterff like...cus   (i blush easilly..dangit) it just surprised me ok! i serious thought he wouldn't say that!! i mean..i thought it would embarrass him to do something like that with me XD 



OHHHHH mer gosh! we talked about alot of stuff, and hung out..

ATE SUBWAY!! oh yea ^_^



but yea, it rained...and then we talked about deep stuff, i mostly rambled my mouth off about stuff, bu he listened
we would laugh, and it was fun, ok ^_^ i liked it. it was awesome! 

and now im use to hugs again...i have ajusted a bit more to the world again XD  try to be happy...

for Ben....
and for those who want to see me be happy again.



so yea, um it 2:05 am and i am so tired i feel sick XD i should head off to bed!

i am looking forward to kaitlyns call on sunday, we haven't hung out in forever...

and tonight...i was thinking about sad stuff that was brought up....

and i dunno... 
Songs:
Much like falling-Flyleaf

Why-Rascal Flatts


Things we go through-Hawk Nelson


yea the feels...

im sorry but this isn't about me....or something...

this times i wanted to post it cus i am now...well worried for someone.... or a few people, i realized there are a few who almost killed themselves or think of it.....i know them...

i already lost a childhood friend.....please no more...this life, its given to you please try your best to go till the end!


I dont want them to! its not....please no...


don't walk away in the middle of a song...beautiful song..

that can look ugly....but there are brighter days, no?

hehe, i guess you just also must watch out for the drama...and the things that hurt the most >.>


ANYWAY i..um, happy stuff now?

XD 

i got to throw balls at a bell and wall... and then my Wolf buddie made fun of me cus i cant throw XD

it was a joke though XD 

XD im so sleeeeppppyyy XD

im sorry for any inconvenience i may have brought you for reading this
please enjoy your day, and smile for the ones who care, even if they care from a distance... ^_^

smile for those who you want to be happy!

have a good
God Bless all you peoples faces!